Tag Archives: Couples

Outsourcing Emotional Labor

No, outsourcing emotional labor is not some geo-political strategy by corporations to improve profits. This is a reality that women have been aware of for a long time. Simply put, outsourcing emotional labor is a description of how men often leave the emotional work in… continue reading Outsourcing Emotional Labor

Communicating Well: A Shared, Intimate Perspective

When couples come to my office, it is really common for them to arrive with the complaint that they have trouble communicating. When this happens, my hypothesis is it’s not the choice words, perhaps not even the body language or tone, but more so the… continue reading Communicating Well: A Shared, Intimate Perspective

Don’t Let Conflict Harm Your Relationship, Part 3

DR. DAVE THORNSEN, PsyD.  The truth about conflict avoidance is that it is not honest. In order to avoid conflict, a person must essentially lie. They say “Yes” when they really mean “No.” They say “No” when they really mean “Yes.” They leave something out… continue reading Don’t Let Conflict Harm Your Relationship, Part 3

Don’t Let Conflict Harm Your Relationship, Part 2

DR. DAVE THORNSEN, PsyD.   We all know that disagreements between partners are common. Whether they are driven by big issues or little issues, disagreements are a common part of any couple trying to work together or get along. Potential Disagreement: Option A and Option… continue reading Don’t Let Conflict Harm Your Relationship, Part 2

Don’t Let Conflict Harm Your Relationship

DAVE THORNSEN, PsyD.  Most couples coming into therapy identify “communication” as their main issue. We’re so used to the word that we forget what a complicated and fragile thing communication is. Because so many factors create communication, there are just as many factors that can… continue reading Don’t Let Conflict Harm Your Relationship

A Happy Couple’s Arithmetic: O + I = R

This simple equation explains what we need to experience a thriving, dynamic relationship: O+I=R, where O stands for Observation, I stands for Interaction, and R stands for Relationship. Observation and Interaction go hand in hand. When we take time to observe our partners and notice… continue reading A Happy Couple’s Arithmetic: O + I = R

Take Your Relationship to the Next Level

People often seem shocked when I tell them that all couples can benefit from counseling. I think that response comes from the idea that marriage counseling is only for helping couples get through a crisis. It’s not. The research has shown us that couples tend… continue reading Take Your Relationship to the Next Level

Manning Up to Sexual Assault on Campus

According to the CDC, 1 in 5 women will be raped in their lifetime. That’s alarming. If you’ve been listening to the discussions happening across college campuses—where 1 in 4 women will suffer date rape or attempted date rape— you’ve heard that people are finally… continue reading Manning Up to Sexual Assault on Campus

Sugar and Spice & Everything Nice: Recognizing Women’s Anger

Think about anger. And now think about women’s anger. Does it feel like those two don’t really… fit? Do you remember the nursery rhyme that begins “sugar and spice and everything nice, that’s what little girls are made of”? Our culture sends messages to girls about… continue reading Sugar and Spice & Everything Nice: Recognizing Women’s Anger

Prince Charmings, Darling Princesses, and the Pitfalls of Expectations in Relationships

When many of us commit to another we truly believe we have found our Prince Charming or Darling Princess. Why else would we want to be with them if not because we believe we’re going to live happily ever after with our mate? Your other… continue reading Prince Charmings, Darling Princesses, and the Pitfalls of Expectations in Relationships