A Part, and Apart, at the Same Time

A Part, and Apart, at the Same Time

• By: Andy Atwood

Today’s “Fountain Hill Center” started out as the “Marriage and Family Center” fifty years ago. The name changed around 1997 as we all were forced to adapt to the impact of managed care on our practices. Marriage and Family Therapy was the most sought-after therapy, and the best way for those insurance companies to make money was to exclude us as reimbursable providers. Weird, but true. We had to diversify our services to the community if we were to survive, and so we did.

But we never lost some of the basic principles that made for good marriages and good families. And even today, the Center strives to apply those principles organizationally.

For example, in a healthy relationship each person has to be their own unique and separate person, while also being a part of that relationship. It is important to maintain one’s own agency while also being in communion with another. That is, the goal is to affirm one’s own identity while in a relationship.

It is best if you can be your real self in all your relationships. God has endowed you with certain talents and strengths, and a purposeful mission. Honor your uniqueness in all your relationships. And, while you’re at it, honor the uniqueness of everyone else. Be your real self with them – and encourage relationships where they can be their real self with you.

In the world of psychobabble, we call that a “healthy, well-differentiated relationship.”

We have tried to do the same among each of the Staff at the Center, between the Staff and the Board, the Center and it’s Supporters. We want each to be a well-differentiated relationship where one and all can thrive.

Consider your relationships at home. I’m sure you want everyone to be their real and fullest self, the one the are called to be by God. And you also want them to have good character, to fit in socially, to be a creative and contributing part of your family and their community.

We all want to be “apart from, and a part of” this wonderful life that has been gifted to us by our creator, who is always apart from us, while being always a part of us, at the same time.

To intentionally pursue such a heathy relationships is an ongoing challenge. A 50-year challenge for the Staff and Board at the Center. Herding cats frequently comes to mind. Yet, in a world that is threated by dominating systems that demand conformity, it is better to work at being apart, and a part, at the same time.

By: Andy Atwood