Divorce rates are reaching record highs. Nearly 50% of marriages end in divorce. What is going wrong? Obviously, hundreds of different reasons exist as to why couples choose to file for divorce. However, here are four common reasons that often get overlooked:
Pornography is rarely addressed within homes, as it is an uncomfortable and difficult topic. Many people even refuse to acknowledge pornography as a significant problem. Nevertheless, the effects of pornography on marriage are astonishing. Spouses viewing porn on a regular basis are caught up in fantasies that fail to be satisfied by their partner. Kevin Skinner recently published a blog post that speaks to the negative effects of pornography on marriage. He says that wives are often bombarded with feelings of rejection and inadequacy. Men become guilty of the habits they cannot seem to break. Conflicts are inevitable when one or both members of a marriage are heavily involved in pornography. If the problem has become an addiction, talk to a counselor or a close friend to work through these issues.
#2: Excessive Anger
Anger is a common human emotion. No one has ever completely avoided anger, and in many cases, anger can be justified. However, when anger is harbored or repressed, it can become damaging to marriages. In a recent blog post, Susan Heitler reveals that whether anger is acted out through deprecating comments or harmful actions, anger is something that needs to be controlled even in its smallest doses. A better idea is to take a deep breath the next time this emotion rises and refrain from letting it control thoughts and actions.
#3: Unrealistic Expectations
On Valentine’s Day, Rachel Clark uploaded a blog post about the unrealistic marriage ideas that have been ingrained in us. She says that since childhood, we have watched ideal marriages where Cinderella and Snow White live happily ever after. We imagined that one day we would find our flawless, handsome prince and live the rest of our lives in wedded bliss. If only this picture were true. No man or woman will ever be perfect, and marriage is a process of learning to live with and love the one you have devoted your life to.
Stress is an everyday reality. One source of stress is unresolved issues of the past that can creep their way into marriages. Other stresses come from running the kids to soccer practice while balancing checkbooks and maintaining a healthy relationship with a spouse. These stresses can quickly add up and eventually become too much to handle. Many try to live with a superhero attitude believing they can do it all, but this is not the reality. Relaxation and time away from the mass of responsibilities will start to dissolve this stress.
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