Author Archives: Dave Thornsen

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) & the Dead of Winter

Over the years I’ve noticed there are three or four weeks every winter when people seem to feel extraordinarily low, and we are now in the midst of them. During the last couple weeks of January, folks always start to come into my office with a… continue reading Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) & the Dead of Winter

Surviving the Affair — Ashley Madison, What to Do Now

I heard on the radio that there were more people in Grand Rapids who signed up for an account on the Ashley Madison website than voted in our last Mayoral election. That thought stuck with me. As a Licensed Psychologist who specializes in couples work… continue reading Surviving the Affair — Ashley Madison, What to Do Now

Don’t Let Conflict Harm Your Relationship, Part 3

DR. DAVE THORNSEN, PsyD.  The truth about conflict avoidance is that it is not honest. In order to avoid conflict, a person must essentially lie. They say “Yes” when they really mean “No.” They say “No” when they really mean “Yes.” They leave something out… continue reading Don’t Let Conflict Harm Your Relationship, Part 3

Don’t Let Conflict Harm Your Relationship, Part 2

DR. DAVE THORNSEN, PsyD.   We all know that disagreements between partners are common. Whether they are driven by big issues or little issues, disagreements are a common part of any couple trying to work together or get along. Potential Disagreement: Option A and Option… continue reading Don’t Let Conflict Harm Your Relationship, Part 2

Don’t Let Conflict Harm Your Relationship

DAVE THORNSEN, PsyD.  Most couples coming into therapy identify “communication” as their main issue. We’re so used to the word that we forget what a complicated and fragile thing communication is. Because so many factors create communication, there are just as many factors that can… continue reading Don’t Let Conflict Harm Your Relationship

A Happy Couple’s Arithmetic: O + I = R

This simple equation explains what we need to experience a thriving, dynamic relationship: O+I=R, where O stands for Observation, I stands for Interaction, and R stands for Relationship. Observation and Interaction go hand in hand. When we take time to observe our partners and notice… continue reading A Happy Couple’s Arithmetic: O + I = R

Take Your Relationship to the Next Level

People often seem shocked when I tell them that all couples can benefit from counseling. I think that response comes from the idea that marriage counseling is only for helping couples get through a crisis. It’s not. The research has shown us that couples tend… continue reading Take Your Relationship to the Next Level