Author Archives: Dave Thornsen

S A D… and the dead of winter.

It started last week… Over the years I have noticed that there are three or four weeks every winter when people seem to feel extraordinarily low; and we are now in the midst of them. During the last couple of weeks of January folks always start… continue reading S A D… and the dead of winter.

Surviving the Affair — Ashley Madison, What to Do Now

I heard on the radio that there were more people in Grand Rapids who signed up for an account on the Ashley Madison website than voted in our last Mayoral election. That thought stuck with me. As a Licensed Psychologist who specializes in couples work… continue reading Surviving the Affair — Ashley Madison, What to Do Now

Don’t Let Conflict Harm Your Relationship, Part 3

Dave Thorsen, PsyD. The truth about conflict avoidance is that it is not honest. In order to avoid conflict a person must essentially lie. They say “Yes” when they really mean “No.” They say “No” when they really mean “Yes.” They leave something out of what… continue reading Don’t Let Conflict Harm Your Relationship, Part 3

Don’t Let Conflict Harm Your Relationship, Part 2

DR. DAVE THORNSEN, PsyD.   We all know that disagreements between partners are common. Whether they are big issues or little issues the potential for disagreement is a common part of any couple trying to work together or get along. When a potential disagreement arises… continue reading Don’t Let Conflict Harm Your Relationship, Part 2

Don’t Let Conflict Harm Your Relationship

DAVE THORNSEN, PsyD.  Most couples coming into therapy identify “communication” as the main issue that caused them to call. We’re so used to the word that we forget what a complicated and fragile thing communication is. Because so many factors create communication, there are just… continue reading Don’t Let Conflict Harm Your Relationship

A Happy Couple’s Arithmetic: O+I=R

O+I=R  This simple equation explains what we need to experience a thriving, dynamic relationship.     O stands for OBSERVATION. Observation is a crucial aspect of any partner’s effectiveness in a relationship. Observation is how we know what’s going on. Without observation we would have… continue reading A Happy Couple’s Arithmetic: O+I=R

Take Your Relationship to the Next Level

People often seem shocked when I tell them that all couples can benefit from counseling. I think that response comes from the idea that marriage counseling is only for helping couples get through a crisis. It’s not. The research has shown us that couples tend… continue reading Take Your Relationship to the Next Level